When I was growing up, every year for Halloween I would wear the same black cape. No matter what. It started when I went as Dracula, and I must have developed some sort of connection to that cape, because I paired it with everything, all kinds of masks. And my parents had so many, ranging from a wolfman mask to a bleeding and scarred old woman to a 'Creature from the Black Lagoon' looking thing. But none of those weird, freaky, conventionally "scary" masks frightened me. They didn't do anything for me because I knew even at that age that those monsters didn't exist. But one Halloween my dad came into the house wearing the mask of a normal, healthy bald man. It looked real, like someone has slipped another dude's face over my dad's, and when he lumbered towards me I almost shit my pants. It was the authenticity of the face that finally scared me-the fact that I knew that head didn't belong on that body.
Which brings me to 'Tourist Trap.' A group of young people on a road trip stumble onto an out-of-commission museum full of mannequins that look a little too much like real people. And, of course, the museum is in the middle of nowhere. The owner, Mr. Slausen, warns the kids to stay out of the neighboring house, where his younger brother Davey kills travelers, turns them into mannequins, and wears the molds of their faces as masks.
At first glance it seems to be a generic 'Texas Chainsaw' ripoff, and while it is clearly influenced by the earlier film, it still manages to become its own fun, crazy, fucked-up experience. This movie proves exactly how awesome it is by having a death scene within the first ten minutes. And director David Schmoeller isn't coy about revealing how weird this movie will become. Here's the first death scene, and like I said, it's in the first ten minutes, so I promise I'm not spoiling anything:
The blood comes out of the pipe! I was immediately sold. And then ten minutes later there's another death scene! It's rare enough to find a modern American horror film that starts the killings immediately, but I've been finding it an even rarer occurrence in seventies movies. When it comes down to it, obviously I prefer tension over gratuitous death, but the kills in 'Tourist Trap' are inventive and fun(ny) enough to let you have a fucking awesome time.
Here's Davey doing his best Wayne Newton:
My only gripe about Davey is that he talks. And not in some creepy/backwoods/southern/mentally challenged/wasted kind of drawl, but in a perfectly normal, even somewhat dignified voice. It jarred me when he first spoke because he'd already been in a couple scenes before when he hadn't. So I was all ready for a Leatherface type of skin-wearer. But, I guess it was a good decision in order to distance Davey from the inevitable comparisons to Leatherface. So I just now changed my mind. High five, Schmoeller! Plus, I forgot to mention that Davey is highly telekinetic, and does a lot of his killings in that manner. So yeah, he's a skin-wearing, telekinetic psychopath with a great attention to mannequin-based detail. Double high five!
Best Line:
"Your heart will burst from fright before you lose consciousness."
Death Tally: 4 (Even though it seems like there are so many more)
Overall Rating: 7 water moccasins out of 10
Worth Watching Again?: Fuck yeah. I'll probably buy this one.
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